What happens when you have two brain cells to rub together to create a spark, want to experience a bit more of that macho feeling some men seem to idolize, and are bored with the real sports everyone else plays? You create your own new “sport”, a game that involves getting a ball big enough for an elephant to play with into a net and shocking players on the opposing team with a Taser-like stun gun to stop them doing the same. Players get shocked many times during a game. Called Tak Ball or Ultimate Tazer Ball (UTB) it’s now playing in a tournament near you — in Bangkok, Thailand. Seriously. I’d rather poke needles in my eye than watch this bout with idiocy.
Created by Leif Kellenberger, Eric Prum and Erik Wunsch in, where else, California – the land of fruit and nuts — they insist Tak Ball is “the game of the future”. Wait, I think my coffee just came down my nose I laughed so hard. Hand on, let me find some tissues.
They also insist the game is “not dangerous” as it only emits a charge of three to five milliamps per tase. (Don’t they always say that until somebody gets seriously injured, or worse, because of malfunctioning equipment or an overly-exuberant player?) but then one of the players, Thomas Taylor, goes on to say the initial pain from a stun gun is far worse than being hit with a paintball pellet. (Did I mention you’d have to have two brain cells to play this ‘game’?), so, no, I’d say “not dangerous” is not altogether true.
Needless to say, if you wanted to see a bunch of idiots run around a small field with a giant ball and stun each other with tasers, they were in Bangkok at the PAC Sports Centre last Friday night. Funnily though, it didn’t sound like many people in Thailand were interested in this idiocy either, as about five people showed up to actually watch.
Ultimate Tak Ball or Ultimate Idiocy? You decide. But, if I had money to bet, I’d say this ‘game’ will die a slow death — if one of the players doesn’t first.
I did love one comment on YouTube though, where Tak Ball seems to be getting universally slammed ‘ “Future Darwin Award winners”. Doesn’t that say it all.