Thousands of Western men come to Thailand every year, many because they’re looking for a Thai girlfriend or wife. The biggest mistake a lot of these men make though is choosing a ‘bar girl’ or prostitute, simply because these are the girls they can meet easily.
But, if you wouldn’t date or marry a prostitute in your own country, why would you want to date or marry one in Thailand?
For a lot of men though, they’re not sure how to meet a ‘good Thai girl’ (this is what the Thais call them) and, even if they do, what do they talk to her about and how do they treat her?
For those Western men who are looking for a good Thai girl, here are a few tips to help you find a nice Thai girlfriend or Thai wife and, once you’ve found her, how to treat her well.
1. Good Thai Girls Won’t Talk To You First. If you come to Thailand to meet a girl, and a Thai girl talks to you before you talk to her, believe me, she’s not usually a good Thai girl.
Well brought up Thai girls from good families are taught not to talk to men first, and definitely never approach one. So, no matter how much the girl tries to persuade you otherwise, she’s probably not a good Thai girl. Good Thai girls are shy and reserved and you will have to approach them. But where?
2. Where To Meet A Good Thai Girl. A lot of Thai women like Western men and would love one as a boyfriend. Thai men often have the reputation of having too many girlfriends and many still have a mistress or ‘mia noi‘ even after they get married. Consequently, quite a few educated Thai girls aren’t that interested in marrying a Thai guy. These girls also think that Western men are better (I’m not sure if that’s true, but who am I to judge!)
A great way to meet Thai women is to hang out in coffee shops or bookstores. Thai women will tend to go around in groups, so you might have to have enough courage to chat to several Thai women at once. But, sitting at a table next to a group of Thai women and asking them to help you with the menu is a great way to get started.
Thais are very helpful and many of them love to practice English. You will get a lot of giggles and blushes, but there will often be at least one girl in the group who will help you and then talk to you more than the others.
Bookstores are also great places to meet women (if you’re in Bangkok, Kinokuniya at Siam Paragon mall is a good one) and some of them have coffee shops too. So, if you strike up a conversation with a nice girl, you could suggest having a cup of coffee to continue the conversation.
A friend of mine met his Thai now-wife on a boat in Bangkok. Going from the main shopping area to one of the temples, he took a small klong (canal) boat. He ended up sitting next to a Thai woman and they started to talk. Two years later, and he was married to her. She’s smart, well educated, from a nice family and is an awesome wife.
One place not to expect to meet a good Thai girl is in a bar. While some good Thai girls will go to bars with friends, most won’t, as many good Thai girls don’t drink. In other words, if you meet a Thai girl in a bar, especially if she’s outgoing and a bit aggressive, she’s probably not the good girl she says she is.
3. Dinner With The Chaperone. Once you’ve met a nice Thai girl and want to see her again, ask her out for dinner. Thais love to eat more than any other nationality on the planet and they love going out to dinner. However, a Thai girl from a good family will often bring a friend, a sister, or a cousin with her on at least the first date and sometimes the first two or three, and you will be expected to pay for both of them.
4. What to Buy Thai Girls As Gifts. Thai girls just love getting gifts and that’s one thing Thai guys are good at. As a potential new boyfriend therefore, you will be expected to give her a gift.
It doesn’t have to be too expensive (expecting expensive gifts is another dead giveaway that your girl may not be such a good one), but it should be cute.
Thai girls of any age (even in their 40s) love soft toys. A teddy bear, rabbit, fluffy cat or stuffed whale will be fawned over and loved. Chocolates are also adored, as are flowers. You can buy huge bouquets of flowers at the markets in Thailand, often for less than $7 and the seller will arrange them in an elaborate bouquet for you.
Most Thai girls love them.
5. Meeting The Family. Thais are very connected to their families and their family will be more important than anything, including you. If your Thai girl starts to get serious about you, she will expect you to meet her family. And, if you start getting serious, at least once weekly lunches or dinners may be expected.
If, after a few weeks, you haven’t met her family, either she doesn’t like you enough, her parents don’t approve of Westerners, or she’s trying to hide something about them.
None of these are good signs and if, after asking, you still don’t get to meet the family, it might be time to look for another girl.
6. Be Sweet To Her. One thing Thai guys are good at is being sweet. They sweet talk girls, they are always kind to them, they buy them gifts, they take them out for lunch, and they allow the girls to think they’re the boss (well, most of the time, they are!). Consequently, a Thai girlwill expect you to act the same.
If you are too aggressive, too rude, not polite when you’re out with her, and expect her to have sex with you almost as soon as you meet her, she won’t stick around for long. Think about your long-term goals, and be patient. Thai women usually make amazing wives, so treat her nicely from the minute you meet her and you won’t be sorry.
7. Try To Find A Girl You Have Something In Common With. Too many Western men in Thailand marry Thai women they have nothing in common with. Many of them marry women who don’t speak much English and they don’t speak much Thai. A year later, the gild is off the lily, and they’re bored stiff with their marriage and their wife.
There are many Thai women who would like to have a Western boyfriend or husband so choose carefully. Try to meet girls you have something in common with and who speak some English if you don’t speak any Thai. Especially in Bangkok, there are many educated girls and most of them will speak some English.
8. Don’t Expect A Good Thai Girl To Have Sex With You. Now, of course this is slowly changing but, overall, many good Thai girls will not have sex with you until they marry you. According to recent studies, at least 60 to 70% of Thai women are virgins when they get married, so they’ll expect you to wait to have sex too.
Of course, there are definitely Thai women who have sex before marriage, particularly in the younger generation, but it’s not a subject they will talk about, even with close friends.
So, if you meet a Thai girl, she jumps into bed with you right away and seems to know what she’s doing, there’s only a miniscule chance in heck that she’s a good girl.
Don’t forget, Thai girls are just like any other girl. They want a man who will love them, take care of them and protect them. They will expect you to honor and respect their family and to help their family if needed (both emotionally and financially). In return, they will love and take care of you and, quite frankly, will sometimes make a better wife than a lot of Western women.
So, if you’re coming to Thailand to meet a Thai woman, keep these few tips in mind and you won’t be disappointed.